By Sushil Kutty
Lessons from around the world. One of them that anyone who marries Imran Khan can expect to be ex-spouse. Second: Imran Khan swings both ways. Third: Trump’s marriage with Kim is vague. Four: War-games are like bedroom-games. They provoke, help balance the balance!
Post Historical Summit: It’s our skin, Kim’s win. Trump might get his condo but what about Dunkirk? That was example set for the Brave New World. Troops landing on the beach is bravery, courage. Dunkirk delivered Hitler his comeuppance. Nobody has the right to beach the beach. Not even a Drumpf!
And, how dare Trump forgive Kim’s original sins, his human rights record: The rabid K9s he set on his uncle. The general he rocket-launched to kingdom come. The brother he poison-smeared to death. The starving incarcerated in North Korea. The Yalu-drowned.
News is that dog-lover Liz Haslam of Suffolk County, United Kingdom, dumped her husband of 25 years, Mike Haslam, after he gave the ultimatum “Me or the Dogs?” The 30 dogs won. Mike Haslam disappeared. Imran Khan’s ‘ex’ Reham Khan would approve. Her all-revealing book is about sex and lies, Imran Khan’s lies!
Reham’s book will take the heat off General Assad Durrani, ex-ISI chief, one of two ex-spooks whose names figure on the cover of Spy Chronicles: RAW, ISI and Illusions of Peace. Gen. Durrani is in the dock for allegedly revealing Pak-secrets in the book. Lesson: Spooks better not come in from the cold. No, nada!
That said, Spy Chronicles seems to have something to brag about, apart from money pouring into the authors’ coffers. Money in the bank is the mark of success of a book. Ask Aditya Sinha, third author of Spy Chronicles, and he’ll thump the desk.
But that is not the brag. The boast is post Spy Chronicles, India has agreed to talk with the Hurriyat, the separatists’ club funded by Pakistan. Ex-RAW chief Amarjit Singh Dulat, also author of Spy Chronicles, has long been a votary of ‘talk with the Hurriyat’.
The lesson: Never think anybody is down and out, grounded. The government ‘suspended’ diamond merchant Nirav Modi’s passport. But he’s merrily travelling around the world. Last heard Nirav left London for place unknown. Interpol says ‘that’s all’. The opposition in India says ‘that’s not all!’
Shocking! The Nirav Modi saga. And the Vijay Mallya story. Both with more twists in the tale than allowed. Lesson for authors: Books never end. Ask the gatekeeper of Pearly Gates and he’ll pull out the never-ending ‘Book of Death’, the one that supposedly God writes but Satan reads. Lesson: The devil is in the detail! Trump may believe but it is hard to believe that Kim’s tail’s straightened out!
Only remedy: Rabid dogs ought to be put out of their misery. Trump played god in Singapore. He ought to have stuck to playing Satan. That is not his base talking. That is the left-liberal media talking: President Donald Trump’s condo-dreams don’t mean nothing to the “very talented”, “smart” as a whip, Chairman Kim Jong Un, ‘Little Rocket Man’.
Kim’s hunt for legitimacy took him to Singapore. It will take him to White House, too. Just like he was in Seoul’s Blue House, setting to rest the fear that the “Opening Ceremony of the (Winter) Olympics would be bombed out”. Lesson: Games will go on no matter what people say after the joint-declaration.
Apart from condos on North Korea’s startling beaches, The Donald is also looking to cement a Trump Tower in World History. That is before the Mueller investigation parcels him off to Douglas Adam’s Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
The Trump-Kim joint declaration is not like Prime Minister Narendra Modi accepting the effete ‘Fitness Challenge’. To quote Douglas Adam’s Restaurant at… “There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe (North Korea) is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.”
Can we trust Trump has discovered “exactly what North Korea is”, and why it is here? Lesson: We will never know, till it is too late. Let’s all pray, ‘Reham (Khan) Kar on this World O! Allah.” Do you, Omnipotent, frequent the Restaurant at the End of the Universe? If so, please reserve tables… (IPA Service)