By Sushil Kutty
Meta-Man versus X-Man. The Mark Zuckerberg-Elon Musk fight everybody was waiting for is off. The two gladiator billionaires with too much on their plates but not enough patience to make it a battlefront fight. Of both, Musk is the braggart and Mark self-effacing. The Meta billionaire says he has given up on the Tesla Musk; that the “Apar-Tide-pod” isn’t serious about the staged cage-fight.
So Mark’s gone and shut the door on the cage, asserting Elon Musk isn’t worth wasting time on, at least not when giving Musk a run for his money was next to impossible. As all of mankind knows, part of why Mark and Musk are talked about is because they inhabit parallel universes and it’s a battle of two worlds.
Elon Musk leads the billionaires’ club in both the Bloomberg and Forbes billionaires’ lists but it is Mark who insists “you can’t sneak up on Zuck, I don’t even…blink”. The fight is pretty much over as Musk now says he has surgery scheduled and doesn’t fancy getting wasted in a cage.
The ‘Meta-Man’ says it’s “time to move on” as the ‘X-Man’ can’t do nothing because he cannot take the risk of getting mauled in the cage – the “Zuckerturd” Vs. “Apar-Tide-pod” fight, one of them the richest human in human history and the other lagging by a long length but still with money enough to make his own Mark.
Turns out the ‘Meta-Man’ is gonna move on as the ‘X-Man’ had failed to name a date for the cage-fight. Besides, who knows what Jiu Jitsu hold and throw ‘Meta-Man’ had been perfecting to floor ‘X-Man’ for the fight in the cage? On the flipside, a South African cannot be trusted when there is money in spacecraft-loads. Musk excused himself saying he needs surgery, chickening out is the X-Man’s idea of winning game, set and match.
It was in June this year when ‘X-Man’ challenged ‘Meta-Man’, tweeting he was ready “for a cage fight” and the ‘Meta-Man’ replying “send me location”. But August 13, ‘Meta-Man’ took to his social media platform ‘Threads’ and let it be known that Elon “isn’t serious” and it’s “time to move on”.
Fault is, ‘X-Man’ would not confirm the date but said the fight should be held at an “epic location in Italy” after a practice round in his backyard. Zuck it. “If Elon ever gets serious about a real date and official event, he knows how to reach me. Otherwise, time to move on. I’m going to focus on competing with people who take the sport seriously,” said the ‘Meta-Man’, who to the ‘X-Man’ is a ‘Zuckerturd’.
Elon Musk is like Donald Trump, a great one for giving nicknames to rivals. The ‘X-Man’ had spoken of an “epic location” in Italy and outlined “streaming options” besides having “spoken to the Italian Prime Minister, Giorgia Meloni.” Musk and Meta have been fighting ever since Meta launched ‘Threads, the text-based conversation app, and ‘Twitter’ replied with a “cease-and-desist” letter, accusing Meta of making “unlawful misappropriation of Twitter’s trade secrets and other intellectual property”.
‘Threads’ has since slipped and Musk has gone ahead and christened Twitter, the ‘X’. The two super rich men would have looked alike if they had got into a cage. There would have been plenty of blood to spill because if Elon is pale like the underbelly of a fish, Mark could do with some red blood transfusion. For, despite the wealth at their command, both the billionaires look anaemic, like Third World kids.
That said, Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk could do with some friendship hormones. The two are too rich to be fighting like cats, with the fight having the potential to blow out of control. The two getting into a cage for a cat-fight would have been high value entertainment, but the ‘X-Man’ always knew he was no match to the ‘Meta-Man’, who is a trained MMA-fighter and a jiujitsu expert.
Musk, on the other hand, was training by lifting weights. The ‘X-Man’ knew when to eject and leave to fight for another day. In conclusion, the comic world has lost the chance to showcase two fighters to rival superheroes that never existed in Marvel or other such platforms – ‘X-Man’ and ‘Meta-Man’. Imagine the movies on them and what superhuman powers they would have possessed. Wasted chance because Elon Musk chickened out after all the hype. And Mark psyched the poor Richie Rich to retreat. (IPA Service)