Incest Even In Jest Is Dirt In The Mind And Comes For A Heavy Price

By Sushil Kutty

It isn’t funny, the Supreme Court choosing to “slam” Ranveer Allahbadia and simultaneously giving him relief against more FIRs. This interim protection, however, comes even as the bench hinted at more trouble for Allahbadia’s incestuous thoughts. For Ranveer Allahbadia, the future looks bleak unless his parents come to his rescue hoping he doesn’t jump into their bed.

This man has dirt in his mind but he is sound of brain. No, he isn’t a threat to public peace, the top court wouldn’t tell but if there’s any wrestler planning to squash the life out of him, Allahbadia has the option to seek police help, barring those posted at the Cyber Cell of the Mumbai Police with whom the ‘Beer Bicep’ Ranveer Allahbadia is playing ‘Hide-n-Seek’.

The police of Mumbai, Jaipur and Assam are after Ranveer’s hide, the last lot the most scary for the chocolate-faced hero of ‘India has got Latent’, the Youtube show that put paid to Ranveer Allahbadia latent desire to get into bed with his progenitors and “finish everything once and all.”

The Supreme Court thought this the worst thought one could have. It’s not a dog’s life! If at all, there’s a sea change in bed-behaviour, India is not Europe or America. The top court hinted of more trouble in store for Ranveer Allahbadia. That being said, the top court missed the woods for the tree. It got the identity of the real culprit wrong. The scourge-in-chief is that fellow Samay Raina, the Kashmiri Pandit who produces ‘India has got Latent’, the mind with more dirt in it than there is in the Sangam riverbed.

Samay Raina fled the stable long before the Supreme Court shut the door on ‘India has got Latent’. Last heard, Raina was in the United States enjoying his ‘samay’ in New York or some place in the fire-ravaged California. Samay Raina is no chocolate-face and if he does resurface in India it will be at a ‘Samay’ of his own choosing!

Allahbadia, poor boy with the ‘Beer Biceps’, is no match for Samay Raina, cunning Kashmiri Pandit and for a long time now a KP migrant of funny means of making money. Samay is a troll-excellence and an usual suspect when it comes to making fun of helpless people who need protection more than Allahbadia does at this moment.

Allahbadia is in hiding and the mother who bore him and the father who sired him are also unfoundable though allegations abound of his mother being trolled at her Mumbai clinic by faceless “rightwing trolls.” Ranveer’s parents are believed to be well-off and Ranveer himself is hardly lacking in cash-loads of money.

It is a rich family, it is a beautiful family even if the heir of the family has a mind full of dirt. The Supreme Court doesn’t think Ranveer can be reformed and, therefore , it is unlikely Ranveer Allahbadia would be sent for a stint behind bars. His parents must do their duty to the son and summon the will to jump to the rescue of the son whose thoughts border on a ‘Streetcar Named Desire!’

The Supreme Court departed from tradition and called Ranveer Allahbadia names and “near names” before granting him interim protection from arrest, which is the least it could do and the most it would do for somebody who laughs his head off when talking of mother and father. There must be lakhs of men and boys who think the same incestuous thoughts but only a rare few in the open and that with widespread laughter.

Don’t forget the esteemed justices of the Supreme Court are from the same population pool. And we are all a bunch of prudes. We can’t take a joke. We can’t laugh like the crowd at the ‘India has got Latent’ show. The justices of the Supreme Court can’t be any less “prude.” The Supreme Court bench couldn’t divorce themselves from taking a hard stance. Allahbadia is destined for the metaphorical gallows come the day of Judgement!

Believe you me, the moment will come and “podcaster-influencer RanveerAllahbadia” will rue his incestuous side. What about YouTube, the real streetcar in this case. The Supreme Court broke from established tradition. It barred Allahbadia from “airing any show” till further orders. If this is a taste of things to come, imagine the extent to which the Supreme Court could and would go.

There are many hearts that have gone out to Ranveer Allahbadia. Samay Raina is the real villain of the piece. The brain behind the dirty mind. But it is Ranveer Allahbadia who is in the dock. More than likely he spoke from a written script. The Supreme Court might consider this aspect, too. Ranveer Allahbadia is reportedly getting death threats and a 6’8” retired WWE wrestler is waiting in the wings “to crush the lights out of him.”

The hearts of the right honourable but outraged justices of the topmost court of the land have a task in hand. Ranveer Allahbadia wasn’t in the court but his lawyer was there. Samay Raina, foul-mouthed Apporva Mikhija and a couple of other unmentionables weren’t.

The Supreme Court summed it up: “There is something that is dirty in his mind that has been vomited by way of this programme… The words you have chosen, parents will feel ashamed, daughters and sisters will feel ashamed, brothers will feel ashamed, entire society will feel ashamed, the pervert mind and the perversion you and your henchmen have exhibited.”

The important question came later, at another hearing which came the same bench’s way. Additional Solicitor General Aishwarya Bhati was asked an additional but difficult question: “Does the government intend to do something about obscenity in social media content?” If so, the court wants to hear from the government. The court directed the presence of the Attorney General and the Solicitor General at the case’s next hearing.

The reverberations are being heard everywhere, especially on prime-time TV shows, where there is new hope that, finally, the hated YouTube channels will be reigned in or fully laid to rest. News Television channels like the Republic, the T-Now, the India-Tak, and many, many more, all of them going down the tube, desperately want the Modi government to silence and blind Google’s YouTube with the heaviest of penalties.

Ranveer Allahbadia’s incestuous mindset has come to the rescue of the news television channels like the Republic and India-Tak! That is the obscenity which is behind the plague which Samay Raina brought to the fore with ‘India has got Latent.’ For records sake, the names of the unmentionables include Ashish Chanchlani, Jaspreet Singh and Approva Mikhija, the last one a lady! They are all content creators, people from decent backgrounds. Final words: Incest in jest is dirt in the mind and comes with a heavy penalty. (IPA Service)